How a cancer diagnosis can turn a family’s world upside down.

Stacy-Lynn Hobby was diagnosed with breast cancer on June 15, 2004. So were her huband, her parents, her best friend and her 1-year-old son, Brian. When Hobby became the patient, they became her co-survivors — the circle of friends and family who weathered the storm of surgery, treatment and recovery with her. Now, more than one year after her initial diagnosis at the Arkansas Cancer Research Center (ACRC) and surgery at UAMS, Hobby appears to be cancer-free, but the reality of her experience is far from over.

“It’s like someone grabs you by the ankles and shakes you upside down. You feel like you have zero control,” she said.

For Hobby’s husband, Greg, the experience had an equally unnerving effect. “I tried to be there for her. I tried to be her coach, but we just didn’t know what to expect,” he said. Added that Hobby was a 34-year-old new mother suffering from an aggressive tumor, the emotional upheaval of her diagnosis was particularly challenging for both her and her loved ones.

A Moving Terrain
It’s important to understand that cancer affects not only the physical body, but also the emotional and psychological side of life, said Dr. Allen Sherman, director of the ACRC’s Behavioral Medicine Program and associate professor in the UAMS Department of Otolaryngology. The emotions felt by patients and family members initially following a diagnosis often differ from those experienced during treatment and later on during recovery. “Patients often aren’t prepared for the fact that the recovery process is a moving terrain,” he said. 

For Hobby, her diagnosis initially brought feelings of fear, panic and sadness. “I felt very, very sorry for myself. I also felt very sorry for my husband and son,” she said. Those feelings were followed by the need to understand her condition and her treatment options, as well as the reality of facing an uncertain future.

Symptoms such as stress, anxiety and confusion are normal in the early days following a cancer diagnosis, Sherman said. Through the work of the Behavioral Medicine Program, Sherman and his colleagues counsel patients at various stages of illness concerning their psychological health, well-being and quality of life. Other outlets for assistance in these areas include the ACRC social work program, support groups, and the patient education center, all housed at the ACRC on the UAMS campus.

Once a person begins treatment, she and her family members feel mobilized and can overcome their initial feelings of shock and uncertainty. It’s often when the treatment ends that the most difficult time comes.  

"When they’ve completed medical treatment, it can actually be a harder time emotionally for the patient,” Sherman said. “The support system starts to recede just when the patient may need it more.  In the ‘lull after the storm,’ the experience often catches up with her a bit and can result in increased depression and anxiety,” he said, adding that many persons suffering from cancer-related depression never seek psychological treatment.

Open Communication
When facing a life-altering experience such as cancer, many people are left wondering how to cope with emotions that often can seem overwhelming. While the emotional toll a cancer diagnosis can take is great, closing the lines of communication between family members only exacerbates the problem.

Sherman said that addressing the emotional needs of family members has only recently become a part of cancer treatment. “Traditionally, the patient had been the focus and family members were really neglected. Some writers called them the ‘hidden patients’ for that reason,” he said. 

While advances now are being made to address the needs of family members, it’s important to remember that communication is key. “Don’t be so concerned with trying to ‘fix’ the patient’s distress. Instead just be there and allow her to share it,” he said. “Often in families there is a strong protective process that goes on where, instead of sharing their natural concerns and feelings with each other, everyone keeps it in to try to avoid burdening the others.”

For Hobby, being able to express her feelings and maintain her sense of humor was essential to her recovery. Both she and Sherman encourage support persons and patients to take the time to listen to each other. “The big thing is recognizing that you are not alone. Disruptive changes are normal and expected, but there are a lot of resources available that can improve the quality of life for both the patient and the family,” Sherman said.

To read more about the ACRC Behavioral Medicine Program at UAMS, visit
www.acrc.uams.edu/patients/behavioral_med.asp.