How stressed are you?

Today’s fast pace is exhausting and stressful. Women fulfill multiple roles, frequently responding to the needs of others, often at the expense of meeting their own needs. Many women find themselves depleted with nothing left to give at the end of the day. A vicious cycle of working harder and harder attempting to get ahead of all the demands backfires! The more efficient a woman becomes, the more she will be asked to do!

The following techniques can help you manage the stress in your life.

• Rest.
• Eat a healthy diet.
• Exercise regularly.
• Get regular check-ups.
• Handle your emotions in healthy ways.
• Pursue satisfying role(s) in life.
• Nurture healthy relationships.
• Play and relax.
• Share work fairly.
• Plan realistically.
• Say "no."
• Find self-esteem within.
• Seek spiritual renewal.

Some women underestimate how much stress is affecting them. Try this quiz to measure the stress in your life: QUIZ

Rest.

Do you find that you are burning the candle at both ends? Failing to get enough rest for whatever reason? Getting the proper amount of rest is a core ingredient to reducing stress, increasing energy and productivity.

Eat a healthy diet.

Eating breakfast, lunch and dinner is important! Include three to five servings of vegetable and fruits each day. Your diet provides the basic building blocks for your body to be strong and healthy. Think of yourself like a top of the line race car . . . you deserve the proper amount of premium fuel! Take a multi-vitamin and 400 I.U. of vitamin E daily.

Exercise.

Aerobic activity such as walking, biking, jogging or swimming alternating days with muscle strengthening exercise is ideal.

It is really hard to get started, but make yourself start in very small steps: Purchase exercise clothes one day; get dressed in them another day; walk for five minutes the third day, and so on.

You can use hand and ankle weights in the privacy of your own home, while listening to music or a book on tape. Start with very light weights and add pounds as you increase your strength.

Gradually build exercise into your daily routine and you will be amazed at the increase in your energy and the lasting sense of inner calm that regular exercise gives back to you!

Get regular check-ups.

Make the effort to practice prevention! Perform your own self breast exam, keep your annual exam and dental cleaning appointments! Get help to stop smoking! Lung cancer is now the leading cause of cancer death in women.

More information about preventive health care available here.

Handle emotions in healthy ways.

Reflect regularly to remain in touch with your innermost feelings.

When you experience happiness, relish it and the energy and bounce it provides.

When you are sad, figure out what has made you sad. Be by yourself and feel your sadness. Allow yourself to cry. Do something that helps you to heal. Some like to listen to sad music or go to a sad movie. Others like to share their feelings with close friends or simply be quiet out in nature or with living creatures.

When you feel angry or resentful, accept that this is an important reaction to feeling taken advantage of, or of being frustrated when a need you have isn’t being met. Harness the energy of your anger to figure out a strategy to improve or change your situation. Keeping anger seething inside (while doing nothing to express it or change the situation causing the anger) is one of the most common precipitants for women to become depressed.

Feelings of fear, apprehension and anxiety are generally related to feeling at risk of harm or of feeling in danger. Be alert and aware and take measures to be safe.

Feeling disgusted is related to being exposed to something repulsive. Young children are strongly taught to avoid disgusting things like cigarette butts that they might put in their mouths. Remain connected to an awareness of your emotions because they serve a critical purpose for your life. Negative emotions direct us that something is wrong and needs to be fixed! Positive emotions are rewarding us for being on the right track.

Pursue satisfying role(s) in life.

Are you going after what you’ve always dreamed of? Each person possesses certain interests and passions which when pursued brings great meaning and purpose. When feeling trapped and unable to pursue their dreams, they become demoralized and frustrated. It takes a strong will, great determination and much courage to go after your dreams . . . but when you do it is exhilarating!

Nurture healthy relationships.

Do your friendships and relationships give you energy or drain you? True friendships are mutually giving. Find and nourish friendships that leave you feeling good, loved and energized.

Play and relax.

Regularly allow yourself to replenish through some form of relaxation or play. Some love yoga, meditation, prayer, or massage.

Share work fairly.

Practice an equitable distribution of labor in your household. Interestingly, studies have shown that marital happiness (including a healthy intimate life) is directly related to the perception of a fair distribution of labor. When one person feels taken advantage of, the resentment builds and the libido fades. Some have shared that the best form of foreplay is seeing their partner clean the kitchen! When asking your partner to do something, be direct. For example, ask, "Would you put away the laundry? " If you become frustrated, it is important to express your feelings respectfully, with an, "I feel . . ." statement rather than an accusation. When everyone in the household contributes to the household, focus on the positive and not on what they didn’t do right. Many women have difficulty letting go and letting others do task(s) their own way.

Plan realistically.

Have a realistic plan for what you can accomplish in a day. Stick to getting the top priority items done and feel pleased with yourself for what you have accomplished! Strive for excellence (doing the best you can do in the available time that you have) and not perfection. Don’t beat yourself up for failing to finish the other 250 ‘to do’ items on your list. Remind yourself that you’ve done the most important ones that you set out to do.

Say "no."

Say "no" to others when they ask you to do something that doesn’t fit with what you need and want to accomplish. Base your decisions on committing your efforts to your highest priorities in life. This is difficult because it requires you to tolerate emotional discomfort in others and it requires that you base your self-esteem from the inside out and not on the approval of others. It is not your job nor is it possible to make other people happy. Each person is responsible for her own happiness. This advice may go against your instincts, for many women were raised to please others, many times at the expense of their own growth and happiness.

Find self-esteem within.

Live your life in accordance with your own values. Be pleased with yourself for being strong enough to accept disapproval from others when you keep on your own course. Don’t fall for the trick of basing your self-esteem on pleasing others because it is empty and doesn’t last. If you try to do this, you will never get where you want to with your life. You will constantly be responding to pleasing others and will lose your own intrinsic sense of direction.

Seek spiritual renewal.

Nurture a meaningful spiritual connection to renew and replenish an inner sense of peace, an abundant inner glow of love and to guide the pursuit of a meaningful life purpose and direction.

Linda L.M. Worley, M.D., is an associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences and a fellow in the Academy of Psychosomatic Medicine. She also is medical director of the UAMS General Hospital Psychiatry Service, Student Mental Health and Arkansas CARES.

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